andrewvs

Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) is one of my favorite poets. His poems are clever, and they rhyme. Speaking of rhyming—one of my other favorite poets, Robert Frost, once said, "Writing free-verse is like playing tennis with the net down."

Anyway...here are some fun little poems by Ogden Nash that parents of young children will particularly appreciate:

A bit of talcum
Is always walcum.

Oh what a tangled web do parents weave
When they think that their children are naive.

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
And that's what parents were created for.

The camel has a single hump;
The dromedary, two;
Or else the other way around.
I'm never sure. Are you?

The cow is of the bovine ilk
One end is moo, the other, milk.

The Lord in His wisdom made the fly
And then forgot to tell us why.

Many an infant that screams like a calliope
Could be soothed by a little attention to its diope.

Finally, click on the Continue reading "Ogden Nash" link below to see my favorite poem by Ogden Nash. If you have the time and desire, you should memorize it like I did. It gives you yet another way to entertain the kiddies.

Free Legal Documents

If you find yourself in the position where you need a Non-Disclosure, Consulting, Non-Compete, or just about any other kind of agreement and you don't want to hire some fancy four-named attorney who will charge you an arm and a leg for something that's already sitting in his drawer, I suggest you try these FREE online resources:

LawDepot.com
Free legal documents that can be customized on the fly... Very nice.

onecle
Copies of legal contracts made between large corporations. (the "cle" in onecle stands for "continuing legal education.") You too can be a registered and fully-accredited C&P* attorney.

Creative Commons
The future of simplified intellectual property contracts. Cool concept—cool website.

*Copy & Paste

Tabletop Illusion

Here's a fun little illusion. The tabletops in the image below are the same size. Do you believe it?

First, rotate the table on the right counterclockwise about 75 degrees:

...then erase the legs:

And now you see, the tabletops really are the same size. Even though you know this now, when you look back at the top picture, they still look like they are unequal—that's one of the characteristics of an illusion—explaining it doesn't make it go away.

Here's an example where this illusion could work to your advantage or disadvantage:

zipdecode

Go to zipdecode, click the map image to begin (just like it tells you to), and type the digits of a zip code (just like it tells you to).

Cool, huh?

Don't forget to try out the zoom feature (found in the bottom right hand corner of the window).

Paper Toys

Just a few days ago, I pointed you to Howtoons—projects to build with kids that produce a lot of action and noise. (The kinds of things that make your mom say, "If you going to roughhouse, go outside.")

The Toymaker is just the opposite—a website that provides templates for paper toys that are best made and used indoors. All you need is a color printer and you're off and running.

If you think paper toys are fun, go here for more.

Easy Solutions

There is always an easy solution to every human problem—neat, plausible, and wrong.
H. L. Mencken, 1917

Howtoons

I've never been a comic book fan. I've enjoyed reading some comic strips like Calvin & Hobbes and The Far Side, but I've never really been interested in reading a Spiderman, Superman, or other superhero comic book.

Well, if they had Howtoons when I was growing up, you couldn't have torn me away from them. Howtoons are one-page cartoons that show kids how to build lots of fun things. The project was started at MIT and follows in the footsteps of OpenCourseWare—free online educational resources for adults. The creators call Howtoons "OpenKidsWare."

Their projects include a Shockwave Air Cannon, Duct Tape Body Double, and Marshmallow Shooter. Neat stuff. Where to start?!

Here's an idea: when your kids (or nieces/nephews) are bored this summer, making one of these projects with them might just elevate you to the "Cool" category—and maybe they (and you) will learn a little something along the way.

The Joys of Yiddish

You may recall an earlier post where I pointed you to The Straight Dope. Here is an excerpt from a column on the nuances of Yiddish.

Leo Rosten [author of The Joys of Yiddish] cites the following wonderful array of insult and innuendo, adapted into English from Yiddish. The problem is whether to attend a concert being given by a niece. The same sentence is put through the following paces, depending on emphasis:

1. I should buy two tickets for her concert?—meaning: "After what she did to me?"
2. I should buy two tickets for her concert?—meaning: "What, you're giving me a lesson in ethics?"
3. I should buy two tickets for her concert?—meaning: "I wouldn't go even if she were giving out free passes!"
4. I should buy two tickets for her concert?—meaning: "I'm having enough trouble deciding whether it's worth one."
5. I should buy two tickets for her concert?—meaning: "She should be giving out free passes, or the hall will be empty."
6. I should buy two tickets for her concert?—meaning: "Did she buy tickets to our daughter's recital?"
7. I should buy two tickets for her concert?—meaning: "You mean, they call what she does a "concert"?"

In addition, Rosten cites the following examples of linguistic devices in English, that are Yiddish in origin, to "convey nuances of affection, compassion, displeasure, emphasis, disbelief, skepticism, ridicule, sarcasm, and scorn."

     – Mordant syntax: "Smart, he isn't."
     – Sarcasm through innocuous diction: "He only tried to shoot himself."
     – Scorn through reversed word order: "Already you're discouraged?"
     – Contempt through affirmation: "My partner, he wants to be."
     – Fearful curses sanctioned by nominal cancellation: "May all your teeth fall out except one, so that you can have a toothache, God forbid."
     – Derisive dismissal disguised an innocent interrogation: "I should pay him for such devoted service?"
     – Blithe dismissal via repetition with an sh- play-on-the-first-sound: "The mayor? Mayor, Shmayor, it's his wife who runs the town!"

What a beautiful language, and what a great description of it. If you're interested in reading more, grab a copy of The Joys of Yiddish at Amazon.com.

Healthy Breaded Onion Rings

This isn't the easiest or cleanest recipe you'll see here, but it's one of the tastiest.

1 large onion
2 cups Progresso Italian style bread crumbs
2 cups milk
2 cups all-purpose flour
4 egg whites, beaten slightly

Note: Depending upon the number of rings you make, you could reduce the amount of bread crumbs, milk, and flour. I wouldn't go below 1 cup on each, though—you need to coat the rings easily. (Plus, how much does an extra cup of bread crumbs and milk and flour really cost?)

1. Preheat the oven to 400°. Spray a large cookie sheet with Pam (or cover with parchment paper which is my preference).
2. Cut the onion in half (in the way that allows you to create "rings," of course). Cut a ¼ inch slice from each half. (Note: It only takes two slices of onion to make enough rings for two people!) Separate slices into rings.
3. Put the ingredients together on the counter in this order, from left to right:
     a. Plate of raw onion rings
     b. Bowl of milk
     c. Pie or cake pan with flour
     d. Bowl with egg whites
     e. Pie or cake pan with bread crumbs
     f. Cookie sheet
     g. Kitchen sink
4. Dip each ring into the milk, flour, egg whites, and then bread crumbs—place onto the cookie sheet.
     Tip 1: When I put a ring into the flour and the bread crumbs, I set it down in the pie pan, then "shower" it with the flour or crumbs. If you over-handle the rings, you'll wipe off the milk or egg and the crumbs won't stick. If this happens, just dip the bare part into the egg and then dip it back into the bread crumbs.
   Tip 2: Your fingers will get just as coated as the onion rings. I rub the coating off of my fingers into the sink every other ring. Don't wash your hands because it takes too long and they'll just get coated even worse than before.
5. Bake for 15 minutes on one side, turn the rings over, then bake them for another 10 or 15 minutes on the other side—depending on how brown you like yours. The longer you cook them, the softer and sweeter the onion gets, and the browner and crunchier the coating gets—to a point, though, and then you're burning them.

This recipe may seem complicated, but it's really not. I just wanted to add lots of tips to make your experience easier.

Resistance to Effective Instruction

It is hard to keep your humor when you accept the fact that you invested 25 years in developing methods that can help your nation out of the educational abyss into which it is racing. You made these methods inexpensive. You made them clear. You helped illustrate their worth. You made them attractive. Yet they are ignored or rejected because of popular myth and bigotry. I should have known this when I started in 1965, but I didn't. I went blissfully on even though others tried to warn me.
Ogden Lindsley, 1992

For information about Dr. Lindsley's approach to teaching—Precision Teaching—go here.

For another extremely effective approach to instruction, read about Direct Instruction here.

And for another angle, read about the Personalized System of Instruction here.

What is the difference between these programs and the programs commonly used in classrooms today? These programs have been proven time and time again—using rigorous scientific methods—to work. Unfortunately, these programs don't conform to what many teachers want to do. But shouldn't teachers do whatever is necessary to product effective, efficient, and humane instruction? What would happen to patients if doctors wanted to practice medicine according to their personal preferences, irrespective of the results of research studies. What would you think if a doctor treated you using outdated practices, but defended themselves by saying, "This is the way I've been doing it for 40 years. I know what works."

The next time somebody tells you about how effective their instruction is, or how good a course or program is, I suggest that you ask them, "How do you know? Can you show me data?"